What is Alternative Dating?
In essence, ‘alternative dating’ refers to romantic or sexual relationships that don’t fit the traditional, monogamous mould. It’s a term that covers everything from open relationships, where partners can explore outside their primary connections, to polyamory, where multiple emotional bonds with different people are welcomed.
Why Do People Choose Alternative Dating?
People choose alternative dating for all kinds of reasons—from a desire for greater freedom in romance, to finding community among like-minded individuals who support their relationship style. The reasons are as varied as the people involved.
Some are drawn to the idea of dating freely, with more of a focus on exploration rather than exclusivity. Others may see alternative dating as a way to express their values around community, openness, or non-possessiveness.
Whatever the reason, alternative dating is ultimately about personal choice and customisation. It gives people the autonomy to structure their romantic lives in ways that suit their unique needs instead of society’s expectations.
Exploring Different Alternative Dating Styles
So, how do these different styles differ? Here are a few of the most common types of alternative dating relationships:
Open Relationships
An open relationship is one where partners are committed to each other but agree to explore romantic or sexual connections outside the relationship. This style is all about creating a relationship where both individuals can enjoy outside experiences while still maintaining their core bond.
Why People Love It: Open relationships allow for novelty and exploration, which can be incredibly appealing. They often thrive on trust, honest communication, and boundaries that allow both partners to feel secure while enjoying greater freedom. This style can be ideal for people who value variety, but still enjoy the security and closeness of having a primary partner.
Polyamory
Polyamory takes non-monogamy a step further by focusing on multiple emotional connections. Instead of just seeking outside experiences, polyamorous individuals often build close, meaningful relationships with more than one person. The emphasis here is on genuine connection and the belief that love doesn’t need to be limited to one person.
Why People Love It: Polyamory often attracts people who see love as something that can be shared, rather than divided. It encourages open communication, empathy, and a strong understanding of each partner’s needs. Many polyamorous individuals find that having multiple partners allows them to express different parts of themselves in ways that one relationship might not fully allow.
Other Forms of Non-Monogamy
Beyond open relationships and polyamory, there are additional styles that cater to unique relationship preferences:
- Relationship Anarchy: This approach doesn’t follow preset “rules” and allows each relationship to be defined by those involved. Instead of following societal norms, relationship anarchists create structures that feel natural and respectful to each person.
- Swinging: Often practised by couples who want to maintain emotional exclusivity while engaging in sexual experiences with others, swinging tends to have a strong focus on togetherness and community. It’s popular among those who enjoy exploring with multiple people while still being in a committed relationship.
The Pros of Alternative Dating
Alternative dating can benefit different people in different ways, with each experience being an opportunity to discover more about yourself.
Freedom and Flexibility in Dating
One of the most exciting aspects of alternative dating is the flexibility it can give you. Rather than trying to fit yourself into a traditional box, alternative dating gives you the freedom to explore more of what feels right for you, which can lead to a more liberating experience for all. For those who thrive on variety and novelty, it can be a fantastic way to expand your social circle and explore exciting connections.
A Chance to Grow and Learn
Alternative dating can teach you how to navigate multiple connections and develop healthier communication styles. You may find yourself becoming more self-aware and mindful of others’ feelings, a set of skills that are beneficial in any kind of relationship. Many people also report that exploring alternative dating gives them a fresh perspective on love, relationships, and even self-worth.
How to Navigate Challenges in Alternative Dating
While there are many benefits, alternative dating can, of course, also present some challenges. Here’s what to keep in mind as you navigate this space:
Set Boundaries and Practice Open Communication
If you’re dating or connecting with multiple partners, setting boundaries and sticking to them is essential. Aim to create a foundation where everyone knows what’s okay, what’s not, and what the expectations are. Alternative dating can often require more openness, and sometimes more conversations than you might have in a monogamous relationship, but it’s all part of building an honest, trusting and respectful dynamic.
Dealing With Judgement, Stigma and Stereotypes
Sadly, not everyone is as understanding when it comes to alternative dating. Sometimes, those who choose this lifestyle still face judgment from others. People in open or polyamorous relationships may encounter stigma or stereotypes, but the alternative dating community is full of people who “get it”, so support and acceptance is never far away.
Finding your own supportive community of like-minded people can make handling any outside judgments or misconceptions much easier.
Is Alternative Dating Right for You?
Before taking the leap, here are a few questions to consider:
- What are you hoping to get out of dating—fun, deeper connections, or something else?
- Are you comfortable with open, honest, sometimes vulnerable communication?
- How would you feel if your partner dated other people?
Being clear on your motivations and boundaries will help you find the relationship style that suits you best.
Alternative Dating Sites and Communities: Finding The Right Alternative Dating Platform For You
Choosing the right platform for alternative dating is much like finding the right vibe at a party. Looking for platforms that emphasise community, inclusivity, and respectful interactions can make the experience more enjoyable and meaningful. It’s all about meeting others who “get” your lifestyle and connecting with people with similar values, interests and desires.
If you’re thinking about exploring alternative dating, downloading The WAX App can be a great place to start. Within the app, there are plenty of ways to meet like-minded people. You can join community chats, workshops, and explore IRL at intimate events and socials.
Exploring and Embracing Your Unique Path
Alternative dating represents a spectrum of connection, freedom, and self-discovery. From open relationships to polyamory and beyond, these relationship styles challenge the idea that there’s only one right way to date. Exploring alternative dating styles can be an incredibly empowering journey. One that encourages authenticity, self-growth, and community.
If alternative dating is calling to you, the best way to start is by exploring. From online communities to real-life events and meetups, there are plenty of ways to dip your toes into the alternative dating pool. Remember, there’s no rush; alternative dating is all about discovering what feels right for you. Be open-minded but stay true to yourself. You’ve all the time in the world to explore at your own pace.
Antonia J is a seasoned writer, editor, and consultant with over a decade of experience, specialising in topics that celebrate identity, diversity, empowerment, and intimacy. As a proud bisexual and neurodivergent woman, her work is fuelled by a passion for fostering acceptance, inclusivity, and meaningful conversations about human connection and liberation.She has collaborated with pioneering brands such as Killing Kittens, WAX, Coco de Mer, Hunger Magazine, and The Diversity Standards Collective, bringing visions to life through impactful words, creativity and storytelling. Notable contributions include crafting articles with sex and relationship experts for Killing Kittens, shaping the WAX community’s inclusive values, and conceptualising Coco de Mer & Sotheby’s “Eroticism in Art” film. This project, a collaboration with acclaimed photographer and director Rankin, drew thought-provoking parallels between the worlds of art and sex and was showcased at Sotheby’s “Erotic Passion & Desire” event in 2018. Her writing has also featured in DIVA Magazine, the leading global publication for LGBTQIA+ women and non-binary individuals.Drawing from her extensive study and lived experience, Antonia’s work explores themes such as relationship dynamics, tantra, polyamory, unicorns, shibari, mindfulness and mental health awareness. Deeply inspired by the intersections of psychology, attachment theory, and personal transformation, she brings a knowledgeable and non-judgemental voice to the evolving dialogue on modern relationships and sexual expression, and views every connection and exploration as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.